The Kahns: The Movie
Plot “She did what! What type of psychopath does that? I’m not going to let her get away with this. She crossed the line when she messed with Ro Ro!” is what Ro Ro exclaimed on the 8th week of school. Lets start from the beginning. It was Ro Ro’s first day of school as a 7th grader at Outworld Elementary. He was driven to school by his mother with his brothers Ice, Jake, Bitch Puddin', Mace, Ace, and Loveolas. He was also accompanied with his two sisters Mileena and Kitana and their best friends Jade and Scarlett. The eight friends all went to the same school since the school was a middle school and a high school. Jake was pretty excited for school, but as always, he was excited for any and everything. His motto “Life is a Surprise” matches his personality. B.P., who hates everything in which no one knew why, reluctantly walked through the school doors with the rest of his family and there they saw dozens of high school students, 7th graders and 8th graders. “Well it’s time for me to make my list of people and subjects I hate”, Bitch Puddin’ said. “Why do you hate everyone Ben, why won’t you just enjoy any and everything that happens to you?” Jake said. “So you’re telling me that if someone stabs me in the stomach and I bleed I’m supposed to be happy about that”, Bitch Puddin’ responded. “No I’m just saying that-” “You guys, look, it’s the hallways with our classrooms”, Ro Ro interrupted. The friends all went to their respective classrooms, and their day begun. So since there were only three 7th grade classrooms, Mace, Ice and Jake had to share a classroom, and Ro Ro and Ace had to share a classroom. “It’s nice to be in a class with my little bro, but don’t worry, I won’t treat you like Bitch Puddin’ and Ro Ro do”, Jake said. “Thanks Jake, at least you’re nice to me”. “This is terrible. Ace and I are life. We belong together at all times”, Mace complained. “Hello class I’m Mr. G, your 7th grade math teacher. I want you to know that this year is about strictness and getting into high school. Any behavior problems and you will be sent home immediately”. In Ro Ro’s class he meets his teacher. “Good morning students I’m Mrs. Kahn and you all may know me as Ro Ro, B. Puddin, and Jake, Mace, Ace, and Loveolas’ mother. You also know me as Kitana and Mileena’s mother since the majority of the boys in this class came knocking on my door with flowers in your hands asking for them. Now I want you all to know that I’m very strict yet friendly. So lets make this a fun and productive year”, Mrs. Kahn said. In B.P.’s classroom he meets his teacher and gets a bad welcome from her. “Hello class, I’m your teacher, Ms. Blade. I want you to know that I could care less about your problems and that this year isn’t about fun, it’s about strictness and learning. Take out your school supplies and start writing”, his teacher said. “For the first time in my life I think I’ve found my equal, and I DON’T LIKE IT!!” B.P. said. It was now the middle of the school day and the three classes were going to recess and the family met up. “Hey bros. how are your days going?” Ro Ro said. “I don’t want to talk about it!” B.P. said. “Awesome, no matter what happens!” - Jake. “Awesome” - Mace and Ace. “Full of love” -Loveolas. “...” - Ice. “Ice, how’s your day going?” Ro Ro asked again. “Oh, good” Ice said staring into his book. “For someone who reads a lot he sure is dumb” Ben said. Jake elbows him and they walk to the field. They all hang out in the field and watch everyone. The jocks playing football (which Ro Ro hates), the girls flirting with the jocks that aren’t playing football (Bitch Puddin’ despises that), and that one group of girls that’s always gossiping about everything all the time (which Jake loves, because he loves everything). From a distance, all of the students looked liked a bunch of shoppers at a Black Friday sale. Soon the bell rings and the boys head inside but then Jake spots Kitana and Mileena coming outside for their recess and Jake sprints to them. “Kitana, I must tell you something shocking and disappointing.” Jake explains. “I have never had a bad day in my life and it doesn’t feel good. I have also never disliked anything or anyone in my life but my teacher has pushed me to the limit in which I feel like Bitch Puddin’! Can you please help me?” “I would but all I can tell you is that it’s natural” Kitana replies. The boys all head to the lunch room so they can finally eat and socialize at the same time. “It’s the first day of school, and they always make the lunch on the first day of school tasty” Jake says. “Well, you’re actually wrong Jake, remember, this is the worst food this school has ever made”, Ro Ro replies. The cafeteria had cooked up BBQ quesadillas with “fries”. The “fries” were basically as hard as rocks and looked as plastic as a Barbie doll. “Ok, now remember, throw up after we leave the cafeteria, you know how the cook is about his food” Ben says. They all sit down and start to eat. Soon, Jake feels a rejection in his stomach. “I don’t feel so good”, Jake says. “Just hold it in Jake, you can do it”, Bitch Puddin’ replies. “I don’t think I can do it, my stomach is going to explode!” Soon Jake explodes in a shower of vomit. “This is making me sick,” the cook says. It’s the last period of the day, and knowing Ben, he’s constantly staring at the clock. “It’s not the last day of school you know” a student says. “I know, but when I get out of here I’m running out of here like it is the last day of school.” Ben replies. There’s only 10 seconds left on the clock. “Ok class, your homework today is to-” RIIIIIIIIIING!! The school bell rings and Ben runs through the door like a Nascar race car. “Forget homework, I’m going home to party!!!” Bitch Puddin’ says joyously. At home B.P. is partying in his tower!!! “WOOOO I’M PARTYING LIKE NEVER BEFORE!!!!!” B.P. screams. “I really wish he would shut up with that noise. I have a date!” Kitana says angrily. “Don’t worry, Dieveon, won’t mind. He’s loud too.” Mileena says. “That’s Mr. Perfect to you Mileena!” Kitana yells. “You’re a terrible person.” Kitana mumbles. Dieveon pulls up in his car and knocks on the door. Sindel and Jake fight over who’s going to open the door, while Shao Kahn sneaks and opens the door. “So you’re the man of my daughter’s dreams huh?” Shao Kahn says. “Yup, I can do whatever pleases you or her so I can marry her and raise a family!” Terrence says excitedly. “Uh, ok. Let me show you where her room is.” Shao Kahn replies. Shao Kahn and Dieveon walk through the palace with Terrence being left alone in the palace’s sewers where Ro Ro’s deadly anaconda stalks its victims. Then Dieveon hears a repeated track (“My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun”) constantly. “I’m getting scared!!” Dieveon screams. Just at the moment, Ro Ro is about to give Andy his dinner. “Andy, dinners ready!!!” Ro Ro says. That distracts the anaconda and it rushes to the hatch. Ro Ro then throws their latest prisoner into the hatch. “Please, I’ll pay you back Ro Ro, I promise!!” the prisoner screams. “Sorry, Ro Ro don’t have no heart!!!” then Ro Ro throws him into the hatch. Just then he sees Dieveon cowering in fear. “Ro Ro, help me!!” he screams. Ro Ro lifts him up in his tongue. “You couldn’t save me in a different way?” Dieveon asks. “No, not really, I care not for your safety. Unless you want to go back down there?” Ro Ro replies. Dieveon rushes to Kitana’s room and greets her happily and tiredly. “I’m here, let’s go before Ro Ro tries to kill me!!” Dieveon and Kitana rush out to Dieveon's car and drive off. “He’ll be back, they always come back” Ro Ro says with four glowing red eyes as pure red as blood. At 12:00 A.M. Dieveon and Kitana get out the car wasted. “I, I really had fun tonight Kitana.” “Me, me too! Want to come in?” “Sure.” It is now 7:30 a.m. and Terrence wakes up on the floor. “What happened?” Terrence asks. “I know I didn’t happen,” Kitana says. “Look at the love birds,” Ro Ro says while staring at Dieveon and Kitana in the doorway with the rest of the brothers. Bitch Puddin’ explains what happened between her and Dieveon and, they had sex. Mace and Bitch Puddin’ blackmail to tell Shao Kahn about their fling but Jake encourages them not to as when Shao Kahn gets mad at one family member, the rest of the family has to suffer. Rochelle Flame, Ro Ro’s gender-swapped opposite comes through the portal with her crew and gloats about Dieveon and Kitana. Rochelle disappears when Ro Ro sees the Revisionworld portal. Mace runs upstairs and informs the boys that Rochelle is heading toward Shao Kahn to tell on Dieveon. The boys are too late to stop her and Shao Kahn has Mileena teleport Dieveon and Kitana to him. Shao Kahn grounds Kitana and he and Dieveon argue…which becomes violent and the two fight. Kitana learns that it was Rochelle who snitched on her and she heads straight for Rochelle’s neck. Rochelle goes through the Revisionworld portal to escape but Kitana and the boys jump in after her. The only one in Outworld is Loveolas after the boys jumped in after her. Ro Ro tells Kitana that it’s no big deal that Rochelle snitched and that they have nothing to worry about. Loveolas calls Ro Ro and tells him that Rochelle took all of his scrounges for herself and Ro Ro becomes furious. “She did what! What type of psychopath does that? I’m not going to let her get away with this. She crossed the line when she messed with Ro Ro!” The gang chases after Rochelle, who leads them to Flame Palace - the opposite of Kahn Palace, where the Kahns live. Ro Ro and the gang face Cindy Flame and Sonny Flame (Shao Kahn and Sindel’s opposites) who get defeated. Kitana kicks Rochelle’s ass and Ro Ro takes his scrounges back. When the gang gets back to Outworld, Shao Kahn has come to terms with Kitana and Dieveon having sex and tells her that it’s ok as long as she doesn’t get pregnant. The Kahns go about their business now that the day is over.